Is sexist!

I never suspected this. But the other day as I was approaching security, trying to close both my tiny plastic bags crammed with 100ml bottles of essential products (technically, I’m only allowed one, at least in some airports), I noticed the bloke in front of me casually placing 2 items into his single plastic bag. Not even toothpaste. I mean, sure, there are lots of reasons why he may not have needed more, some of which might even apply to any number of women, but still… that got me thinking…

First of all, let me be clear that this, like so many of my so-called problems, definitely counts as the first world kind. I may complain about the minor conundrums of travelling, but I’m lucky enough to be travelling. And not for work.

Ok, let me take you through a woman’s packing process.

Step one, long before you’re even considering packing for a trip, you have purchased a set of 100ml bottles in various shapes and sizes, with a little funnel so you can decant your preferred products more easily. You’re not sure you know that many/any men that own such a set.

Step 2, the trip is getting closer, you need to work out what you absolutely need and what you might be able to leave out. You locate your special bottles and you realise that they are all half full of unidentifiable and unappetising old lotions left over from your last trip. You discover that said lotions have congealed, rendering the bottles impossible to empty. Do you go on the offensive with hot water and detergent, or do you get involved with Amazon? I’m not judging.  I’ve done both over the years! Either way, guilt ensues. By the time you’ve used 100 litres of hot water to clean your perfectly serviceable containers, you’ve probably contributed to as much global warming as if you’d bought new bottles. Either way, you now own far too many of these dinky little bottles. Waste of plastic and money but what’s the alternative? I’m sure some men face this kind of dilemma, but I don’t think I’ve met either of them.

Step 3: you have to transfer your most vital lotions and potions into these bottles. If I had free rein, I’d probably have 3 or 4 ickle plastic bags. Four, if we’re being serious about closing them properly. Apparently, that’s not allowed. Certain airports (Luton, Stansted) will threaten to limit you to one bag which you have to be able to seal completely. I’m still not sure if these airports are employing killjoy-jobsworths who are rigidly implementing actual rules (which aren’t displayed anywhere but might exist, crazy as that might be) or if they are simply making up these rules because they are killjoy-jobsworths  and they just can. I’m happy to inform you (just don’t ask me how I know!) that you can bipass these real/imaginary rules by having a tearful tantrum, emphasis on tantrum. You’re welcome! I mean, how is one supposed to choose between tooth paste and insect repellent? Or between make up and moisturiser? And why shouldn’t I take two 100ml bottles of conditioner? Especially when it took aaaages to get everything into your miniscule bottles. You see, it transpires that the funnel is cute but absolutely useless. That’s because your lotions are unctuous and the funnels are quickly overwhelmed, kinda like a Thames water sewage drain, or the M25. You have to spend precious time figuring out how to get your product from its original packaging into your teeny weeny bottle. You may discover you need a new set. If you’re a man, you probably think I’m exaggerating. Try it, I dare you! As if packing wasn’t stressful and time consuming enough!

I don’t know about you, but I have cosmetic produts I swear by. Nothing particularly expensive, or hard to come by, but stuff that I’ve come really like over the years. Moisturiser hair care, lip balm, perfume: I like to have these with me when I travel. In theory I could buy those items at my destination, but it turns out that even our closest European neighbours don’t sell the same lotions and potions. It isn’t that they are worse, merely that they are different. I can, however, buy what I want/need at the airport (there must be a reason why airport liquids are safer than any other liquids…) in useful quantities, but I have to pay airport prices. Also, I won’t be able to bring anything back which just adds to the guilt about the waste of plastic, unused product and money that this causes. And of course, I need to allow extra time to make these expensive purchases. If time is money, I’m being double-penalised. I know, I could take all the liquids I want and put my case in the hold, but checking luggage in takes an extra 30 minutes at least, time I’ll never get back.  Women travelling with kids have to do that because travelling with kids is a special form of torture which involves packing a mahoosive case to cater for every potential catastrophe and then spending extra time at the airport queueing for bag drop while your children wail miserably (and noisily) because they are starving and tired and need a wee (even though you just fed them, did a bladder check and they woke YOU up, not vice versa). The horror is repeated when you have to wait for the case at the other end.

For extra fun and games, I recently failed security because I had a hair dryer. I wonder how many men have to display the content of their case (underwear and all) and undergo the explosives swab test for that. I’ve learned not to take nail scissors because these are obviously lethal (especially in conjunction with an unplugged hairdryer…) but have nevertheless been stopped because I was brazen enough to carry cuticle cutters. Not to mention how many times I’ve beeped going through the little arch (and then got thoroughly frisked) because I was wearing an underwired bra. Are you detecting a trend now?

The technology exists to consign this 100ml rule to history. It has existed for years. Several deadlines for installing it have been totally disregarded. I reckon that this delay isn’t considered scandalous because people simply don’t realise there’s a sexist problem. After all, everyone is treated equally badly at security, that’s not in doubt. Yet the outcome tends to favour men. It’s a classic example of everyday sexism, the kind that’s so pernicious that no-one actually notices, and you even feel like a bit of a conspiracy theorist for mentioning it! At least, thanks to Caroline Criado Perez (who wrote Invisible Women) we know such insidiously sneaky sexism has been known to occur. A few gazillion times. So next time you travel, well, you’ve been warned!