Not gonna lie, I’d have liked to write this a week ago, but Christmas got in the way. Not Christmas itself, obviously, but the run up to the big day. I even dropped down a league in my Duolingo. My rational self knows it’s not a big deal, but my more irrational self was having none of it. That side of me wishes Christmas could be every 4 years, like the Olympics. We could celebrate every 29th Feb. It would be so special! Ok, I know I’m dreaming. But, here’s the thing: Christmas shopping is such a chore. I know, and I’m sorry, I sound like the Grinch. And truly I don’t want to be a bore. But there are around 25 people I feel ought to get gifts for. And several of these people have December/January birthdays so you have to get a separate gift because well, they didn’t forget your birthday now, did they? All these people already have everything they need/want: their wardrobes are stuffed full of clothes, some of them still waiting for that special occasion to see the light of day; their kitchens super-well equipped with all the gismos even though the waffle maker rarely makes an appearance and the bread maker just sits and stares at you in quite a mean and judgemental way because you both know how long it’s been since you made bread…; their bookshelves are buckling under the weight of books that haven’t been read, not quite yet; their wine racks are laden with wine they know they like to drink but also, at the bottom, wine that’s been lying there, all but forgotten because, well, it was a (lovely but wrong) gift…; their bathrooms overflowing with selection of fragrances and skin care that may be years past their expiration date but haven’t been used but can’t be thrown away because, well, they were a gift; they have a rainbow of pashminas and bags, so many gorgeous bags of all shapes and sizes all waiting for a glimpse of the limelight. So, every year, the challenge seems more and more unsurmountable. I love buying gifts, but I hate buying useless tack which will end up in landfill in January. Just a few weeks ago I succumbed to Middle Child’s desire to replace our (admittedly very) old TV. In doing so, I somehow ended up putting the new one in a different spot, which in turn led to a significant furniture reshuffle, which somehow ended up provoking massive clutter reduction episode whereby many possessions got re-classified as junk/recyclable junk/give to Oxfam. I don’t want my gifts to end up in any of these piles (though I’m fully aware that many will, obviously). Nor do I want my gift to end up in the recipient’s regifting cupboard (although, honestly, I wouldn’t be offended if the recipient did find a more suitable home for my gift, better that than immediate landfill or eternal storage under bed/in loft/ in cellar… to be thrown out unused a decade later). Me, I have a daughter so I have the perfect regiftee! Problem is, she already has SO MUCH STUFF… Ok, so we accept that no-one needs anything. But, not gonna lie, it’s Christmas and this kind of Bah Humbug attitude won’t do at all. Even Ebenezer Scrooge worked that out! Even though it’s a yearly difficult task, it is non-negotiable and needs to be done well. Every. Single. Year. If, like me, you are lucky enough to be part of a big family that enjoys spending Christmas together, you have to show up with your fair share of festive spirit. You know it’ll be worth it! Preparation is key. So the rational me kicks in, and the yearly spreadsheet comes out: giftee name, his/her present, has it been ordered, has it arrived, has it been wrapped and clearly labelled? There’s also a line for wrapping paper and sellotape, cos you’re going to be uberwrapping every day now until Christmas Eve. Thank heavens it’s 2023 though, gone are the days you had to trudge up and down a high street/shopping centre carrying a gazillion heavy bags containing gorgeously overpackaged smellies destined to become tomorrow’s junk. As for this year’s efforts (thank you amazon prime, I guiltily acknowledge that you keep me sane) it’s a bit hit and miss, I’m afraid. It’s not perfect. But almost everything has arrived and is (imperfectly) wrapped. I still have a few gaps in the spreadsheet, but it’s (touch wood) under control. And there’s nothing among these lovingly chosen gifts that I’d mind unwrapping myself next year if the original recipients accidentally regifted it my way! I did consider organising 2 dozen trips to the theatre/afternoon tea/relaxing spa in lieu of gifts… that would have been perfection… but there aren’t enough hours in a year to organise that (although maybe if Christmas were every 4 years…) – or, one could simply give those Red Letter Day vouchers but it turns out they are dastardly difficult to spend (the recipient will waste untold hours finding a date – weekends never available – and a venue that isn’t Inverness). Ok Santa, I’ve been a good elf, now can I please go claw my way back up that Duolingo league table? I’m sensing that my obsession with this language learning app could be the subject of my next post.